vThe question that transsexual children and their families face is as recurrent as it is insubstantial for them: how is a child going to know the sex with which they identify does not correspond to the one that others associate with their body? ? Well, they know it and they know it very soon. Even to the surprise of their parents, who face the abyss of misinformation and lack of references regarding the safety of their children.
Cloe lives in Castellón, is 10 years old and has just finished fourth grade. His mother, Carolina, is a publicist and his father, Jorge, a clerk. Until their daughter was three years old, they lived in the relative family peace that is achieved with a small child, but already then they had to learn to respect their tastes without knowing very well where all this was leading them.
“At the age of five or six, one day while going to school, she told me that she was a girl. I was quite scared because I did not know how to answer him. You know that it will be the same for you, but you don’t know what procedures you have to follow immediately, for example at school. Every summer, she took one more step, it was as if she broke freewhen he took off his uniform ”.
One of those summers was very conflictive because Chloe, now sweet and talkative, showed a lot of contained anger. “During the course,” explains her mother, “I had been shot by other mothers who told me that Chloe had fought with her children and even some days my daughter came out of school with blood.
I have always said that it did not matter who started the conflict, if it was my daughter because she defended herself or others because they attacked her, the fact is that the school had to take action on the matter because I had already spoken with the principal about her changes of conduct.
I would call and let them know if one day I was wearing pigtails because I knew it would be conflictive, but when Chloe decided to wear a skirt and I told me, the tutor told me, please, not to wear her like that because the children were not prepared.
Chloe, who was named Leo at birth and is next to her mother playing her Nintendo, smiles and nods. She has almost forgotten the attacks because now she has friends her age in her new school, but Carolina does remember everything she has had to learn to accompany her daughter and that she has been her best teacher.
“Conflicts persecute children who are open and are not afraid to go out into the yard and say like my daughter: ‘I am a girl but I have a penis’. Those who are not like that, hide and suffer a lot or release anger later ”. Chloe has just been part of a solidarity advertising campaign of the Primor perfume chain aimed at raising funds for the 26 December Foundation, which will be used to create the first LGTBIQ + residence for the elderly.
She only remembers that the experience “was very fun” because she met Carlota, who is in charge of Little Princess, her favorite brand, and between games of the video game that captures her attention, she says: “Now I am much happier. The best thing about my change is that I have many friends and the worst thing is that others did not accept me and no longer speak to me ”.
For their mother, as for Gustavo, father of Axel, 12, who was called Ariadna at birth, the internet was the first thread to pull when their respective children were showing non-normative behaviors. “The danger is that this way you can get to the wrong places,” reflects Gustavo, who works in the cleaning service at the Instituto Cervantes in Madrid.
At his side, in the urbanization where they live in the Usera neighborhood, his son listens to him, who intervenes without letting go of his soccer ball: “Since I was little, I have never, never, never liked dolls, whenever I drew what I did with pants, I didn’t like skirts at all, and when I was nine years old I went to the doctor for a check-up and they told me that my body was going to start to change, there I was afraid. It was then that my parents sought help and we started the whole process ”.
His father cannot help but get emotional when he remembers the moment when through a partner he found Isidro, a social worker from the LGTBI program in the Community of Madrid. “He reassured us, gave us a series of tools to start working with the family nucleus first and see what happened. We began to treat him in masculine.
It coincided that we were going on vacation to a campsite and, as he had already chosen his new name, he introduced himself as Axel ”. “I found it on the internet”, explains the son, “I liked it because I had never heard it and because it comes from Prince Axel. I have never had problems with the children I have played with, only when I said that Ariadna called me they asked me if it was a boy or a girl. Since that vacation no one has asked again. ”
The Council of Ministers approved last Tuesday the draft law for the real and effective equality of trans people and for the guarantee of LGTBI rights, known as the trans law. A first step in a career that seems slow to children and their families. Ana Valenzuela, president of Chrysallys, Association of families of Trans minors, explains that on the one hand they feel satisfied by the progress and on the other they consider it necessary for them to grow.
Also the mother of a girl who is now 10 years old and made the social transition to her gender identity at the age of four, she knows well the legal loopholes they face. In the draft bill, one of the great obstacles to reaching an agreement has been precisely the free self-determination of gender (that a person can change the name and sex on the DNI only with their will, without the need for medical reports and years hormone as up to now).
Finally, what has been agreed is that from the age of 12, not before, the legal sex change is allowed in different sections: from 16 without requirements, between 14 and 16 with the consent of their legal representatives,
Ana Valenzuela believes that “it must disappear that adolescents up to 14 years of age have to go through judicial processes to validate their sex. Our proposal was that minors who have changed their name in the registry for one or two years can directly access the registry mention of sex because that time is already a guarantee of stability ”.
“It is very important for their daily life,” Valenzuela continues, “because they have to identify themselves in many spaces and there are many who, because they do not have to face comments and discrimination, isolate themselves.”
He gives simple examples: families who have traveled with their minors and have been arrested at the airport accused of kidnapping due to the appreciable differences between what they put on their ID, their name and their appearance; not being able to federate in a sportbecause their documents affirm that they belong to another gender; or gaps in the health care of trans men because, when they change their sex in the registry, the Social Security system automatically excludes them from protocols such as gynecology that do require their physiology.
The reality is that, according to their parents, it is the same children who insist over and over again on the sex in which they feel comfortable. “This does not pose a risk to anyone,” says the president of Chrysallys, “but the future of children depends on all of this, on whom we must understand that they must follow such complicated processes that no one should think that they are done on a whim” .
“When my son made his transit,” says Axel’s father, “and he started pubertal blockers (drugs that delay puberty) at the age of nine – the age at which the endocrinologist saw the breast bud come out – he gave a 180 degree turn. It is as if he had said: ‘You see how I am’. One of the places where his change was noticed was in the drawings he made: before he painted himself as a child and then he drew a giant ”.
The first thing Chloe asked the sexologist they attended when she was seven years old was: “Are you going to give me a pill to turn me into a girl?” The professional had to tell her about the whole process and her next question was: “Can I go talk to that endocrine so she can explain it to me too.” After that step he added: “Ok mom, now introduce me to a surgeon.” His mother clarifies:
Axel and Chloe are happy, psychologically healthy. Their parents, with their doubts, anxieties and fears for the future, have been involved to defend and accompany their children. Others are not so lucky. Gustavo, neat and exact with the language he uses because he has insisted on learning it in order to explain it to “all those people who try to distort this reality”, declares what the world is and the feelings of trans minors as his son: “We have never been asked cisgender people and you naturally identify with a gender.
The same goes for trans children. Axel’s life has changed little, it has not affected us as a family so much because there is no more blind person than the one who does not want to see, but now our life has improved because we know what is happening. Our son has opened our minds, that is why we believe that showing ourselves serves so that other children are not afraid and can tell their parents ”.
Chloe changed her name in the civil registry at the age of seven and a half; Axel did it at 10 and just a few weeks ago he went through the corresponding judicial process to request a sex change that he had already been denied before. The civil registry judge first said that he looked very small. Later, after talking to him outside the room, he gave a glimpse of hope: “You are going to make me study a lot,” he said. He only hopes that he is officially recognized as a male and that society is able to understand what his environment has already learned.
The Great Writer and The Passionate Poet As Well, He Graduated from University Of Florida in Journalism and Brad have around 12 years of experience in news and media section.